Updated: Jun 16, 2020
This week we are talking about freedom.
Internal freedom - that which we can cultivate independently of external events.
I have chosen to write about this topic today because I was deeply affected 2 days ago, by unjustified accusations.
I felt hurt, even torn apart.
As if this person held my value in his hands and could dirty it as he pleased.
I realized, through a long discussion with a friend, that the feeling of injustice, the feeling of having no opportunity to defend this value, had cut me off from my power.
I was feeling helpless.
Carried away in a flood of anger and disappointment, I didn't sleep, not even published my podcast in time.
I let this person have control over my life. My sleep, my commitment, my vibration.
I lost, or left, or gave up, my inner freedom.
I didn’t build healthy boundaries to protect myself. I let in a toxic poison.
In the same way as for distractions, it is infinitely easier to manage a poison before having ingested it rather than after ...
However, in this experience the essential root of this loss of freedom and power is in fact "The non-recognition of my own value/self-esteem"
1- how is it possible to fertilize self-esteem?
First, it is important to understand that the core values are different for each person.
Recognizing your own value also means having the courage to live by your values.
Honor your souls.
Stand up for what you deeply believe in.
This involves making choices that are aligned with your values.
Because self-respect implies not compromising on your values.
Your core values are your spiritual guides.
Of course, they can evolve over the course of your life, some will take on more importance than others, but this evolution requires total integrity.
To live according to your values is to be free.
"Self-respect means being rooted in your power, not your weakness"
When we choose to blame someone, to feel sad, angry, we lose our power.
Why do I choose to experience this feeling, or to react in this way?
Sometimes we have this great fear of raising our voices for ourselves for fear of losing someone's love. Some people are very good at convincing us that we are not legitimate to defend ourselves.
However, defending oneself is an opportunity to become stronger, as strength often develops in adversity.
Self-respect means standing up for what is our deep truth. It is to make yourself the master of our feelings and not another person.
I have chosen freedom as my main value.
Because for me that implies, the choice, the words, and integrity.
This is a value that I have followed for many years, and this fundamental value has allowed me to make courageous choices, to dare to venture into new experiences.
So I encourage you to determine what is your core value.
Here is a list of few examples:
Living your life intentionally only becomes possible the day we start to follow our own rules, which are themselves determined by our most important values
2- Core values
Now that you've made a small list of the values that matter most to you, choose the 3 that are the most essential for you. Those which are inseparable from joy.
Then start making a list of the actions you do daily that are related to this value.
Ex my value 1 is Freedom
The daily actions that make me feel free are:
. Go walking alone in the forest
. Reading barefoot in the lawn in the morning while drinking hot coffee
. Draw at the beach watching the sunset
. Pick salad just before the meal…
Then you can do the same for your other 2 values.
Once this list is made, start thinking about the things you would like to add to this list.
I would like to add, painting outside. I would like to succeed in painting every day because it makes me feel free, and outside because it is even more exciting to paint surrounded by nature.
Repeat for Values 2 and 3.
Then once these beautiful lists are filled, take a look at what are the actions that you do on a daily basis that do not enter the box of your fundamental values.
I watch IG 1H a day (oops…)
What can I replace this habit with?
.Listen to music
.Read an inspiring magazine.
.Just meditate, write in my journal ... All these activities can easily replace Instagram and give me a feeling of freedom.
Then you will no doubt see that one of the values you have chosen represents all the others.
So keep it with you, like a pocket guide.
And do not hesitate every time a decision, even daily, is made, to use your pocket guide
Does this action/decision agree with my value?
Then it's up to you to discover which path your value will lead you to.
For me and for some of my clients, this simple exercise made it possible to lift the veil, to see the path clearly at all times and without realizing or planning too much, to change my life, their life.
Nothing could be simpler, but it takes great courage to live guided by your values.
Are you ready to take this path?